Tom meets Sandy

          Tom had injured his leg during his senior year of football and took time off to heal. He coached one of the girl’s teams in Hall High’s annual challenge football game. He drew the Powder Puff team that featured a pretty quarterback who mirrored Tom’s athletic prowess—Sandra Stringer. Tom said, “She was amazingly good at imitating a quarterback.”

      Randy, one of Sandy’s brothers, played football with Tom. He urged Tom to date Sandy. Although he had dated a couple of girls, Tom, like Sandy, was not much into dating, but between snaps of the ball and running offensive plays, they fell in love. They dated seriously by Christmastime and became high school sweethearts.

      Jane Carter, Sandy’s closest friend in high school and college, watched Tom and Sandy’s friendship go from seed to blossom. “Sandy and I were in physics class and she had a desk by the window. The track team would walk down the street every day, and every time Tom would walk by she’d run and turn the blinds up and down [to say hello]. The teacher never could figure out what was happening.”

      Gloria Bird adored Sandy. “She was like the big sister I never had. We sewed together and she gave me her Cheerokee Girls pin when she went to college.”

      Everyone saw Sandy as bubbly, warm and affectionate. “When she came to our house the first time, Sandy went around and hugged everybody. My dad, being a German, was shocked and yet pleased by such a genuine outward expression of joy. Sandy just loved people, and people loved Sandy,” Gloria said.

      Sandy’s three younger brothers loved her, too, but trouble loomed on the horizon. “We got the sense from Mom more than anybody that she was delighted Sandy had a steady boyfriend until it came time for her to go to college,” Randy said.

      While still in high school, Tom decided to follow his dad into the ministry. He had a unique perspective on what it meant to be a pastor, and it scared Jane Stringer.

      “You see, there is something about growing up in a pastor’s home; especially since my dad was from Arkansas. Dad was not a staunch German, never wore a collar. I saw dad in his whole life not just his pastoral life. I mean he and mom would have arguments. He walked around in his boxer shorts at home. He hollered and yelled at baseball and football games when the Cardinals weren’t doing too well.

      “Dad brought pregnant women into the home to protect them. If a guy down the street was struggling with a job or something, dad would go down and have a beer with him. He umpired local ball games and played some. He dealt with families when there were suicides and things like that.

      “I saw him beyond his pastoral context. I saw that he was a real person with ups and downs just like everybody else, and was able to talk at anybody’s level. I learned to be like that. No one taught me that at seminary.

      “I learned that the pastoral demeanor is sometimes a barrier for somebody opening up to you. It was one of the reasons I didn’t go through our Lutheran school system. I felt those who did this were sheltered; certainly they had a tremendous background in theology but lacked in real life experience.

      “I went to the University of Arkansas and saw real life. During Vietnam, I saw campus unrest. We had mandatory ROTC and as a freshman you had to take it, and I was not military material.

      “I wanted to be a down-to-earth person who could talk to any person at any level. It’s not that I was multi-personality or that I was deceitful, but I talked at the level that I would talk to a construction worker. I just do it, I don’t have to think about it. I just am what I am.”

 Too earthy and too poor for Jane

       Jane wanted more than a country preacher as her son-in-law. To Jane it meant Sandy would be throwing her life away. “I was dead set against the marriage. Sandy had a lot going for her, and I was afraid that if she married Tom she’d never realize her full potential.”

      Sandy left for Houston to attend Rice, and Tom went to the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville to run track. It seemed Jane’s dreams for Sandy might be realized, but Tom and Sandy kept talking and visiting as often as they could. If UA had a track meet anywhere near Rice, Sandy sneaked over to see Tom. Distance made their love grow stronger. They were determined to a run a lifetime marathon together and these were two very determined young people.

      Following her first year at Rice, Sandy transferred to UA to be close to Tom. She continued toward a degree in math. Tom worked toward a degree in sociology to prepare for seminary. They both became actively involved in school and church activities.

      Sandy graduated in 1971, Summa Cum Laude with a Bachelor’s Degree in Mathematics—in just three years. She entered the master’s program and began working as a Graduate Teaching Assistant. Though Tom had another year before graduation, they decided to marry.

      Tom Bird and Sandy Stringer were married on August 21, 1971. Given their popularity in Little Rock, the wedding was a huge event. Jane surrendered to their stubborn determination. “Once she married him he became a son.”

      Months after Tom and Sandy’s wedding, Jane divorced Randall Stringer, and the relationship between mother and daughter soured. Jane dated and later married a Little Rock physician, Dr. Jerry “Papa Doc” Grismer. Sandy never moved back to Little Rock and her contact with her mother and step-father was reserved for a few family gatherings each year, and periodic phone calls.

      With Sandy’s strong encouragement and his native determination, Tom completed his studies and competed in track. As a senior in 1971-72 season, he captained the UA track team. The school chose him the outstanding athlete of the year in track and elected him to the hall of fame in the UA yearbook.

      Sandy and Tom both graduated in the spring of 1972, he with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology, and she with a Master’s Degree in Mathematics.

      They headed to seminary.

      Tom and Sandy moved to Springfield, Illinois, where he entered Concordia Theological Seminary. Sandy taught math at Springfield College and Lincoln Land Community College. Tom concentrated on Biblical studies, but also took numerous courses in history, systematic theology and pastoral counseling, setting the tone for his future ministry.

      Sandy, raised a Presbyterian, studied Lutheran theology with Tom. Friends and family report lively discussions between them about religious faith. Pastor Ralph Bird gave her Lutheran instruction. Sandy joined the Lutheran Church and, according to her brother Randy, even her politics got more conservative.

      The two were a good fit—studious, intelligent, committed, focused, competitive, athletic and called to the pastorate. Sandy, with her teaching jobs, supported Tom and, unlike the days when Ralph and Virginia were forced to delay their marriage, the seminary by then had many married couples on campus.

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