Custody by Committee

Nesting little Birds

       The Bird children had no mother. The state imprisoned their father. At least the court had awarded temporary custody to Ralph and Virginia as Tom requested following his first incarceration.

      In September of 1984, Tom believed he would have to spend several weeks in jail before he was released on an appeals bond. Maybe it would stretch to months. If the unlikely outcome of his appeal sustained the prison sentence, he faced likely parole in 21 months.

      The Bird family was close-knit. As a pastor, Tom saw as equal the need to nourish the children’s temporal and spiritual lives.

      Mark Bird, his older brother, spent many days in Emporia trying to help Tom with his case. At the same time, he fulfilled his role as “Uncle Mark” to the three children. They loved him deeply. Being single, the Bird’s and his sister’s children were the only kids Mark had.

      Tom’s sister Gloria had children the same age as Andrea and Aaron. Her older child, Andrew, in a sense shared a name with his cousin Andrea. They were close cousins.

      The court agreed that while Tom served his prison term, the most secure and stable home was with Ralph and Virginia in Hardy, Arkansas. It placed them within 3 hours of the Cates and Grismers who all lived in Little Rock. Tom believed this living arrangement was the best to sustain the children’s Lutheran faith, a conviction shared by Sandy Bird, and yet allow Mama Jane’s family to participate in their childhood. Sharon Meyer, wife of Faith lay minister Howard and who testified for the prosecution in Emporia, wrote to the Birds in 1987. She told them that Sandy mentioned to her that if anything every happened to her, she wanted the children to live with Ralph and Virginia. Sandy had truly become a Bird.

      During Tom’s first trial in late July and early August of 1984, Ralph and Virginia took a leave of absence from their church to stay with him. They helped care for the children, cooked, cleaned, worked in the yard, and tried to attend all the daily hearings. Jane Grismer also attended the hearings. When she wanted time with the children, the Bird’s brought them to the motel where she stayed. The children enjoyed swimming at the motel.

      Tom put his home up for sale early in the summer of 1984, anticipating that once the trial was over he would move back to Arkansas or somewhere, at least out of Emporia. Susan Ewert served as realtor. The elder Birds spent the next two years dealing with the financial mess created by the house on Henry that took forever to sell and eventually sold at a loss.

      Denied any freedom following his 1984 conviction, the Bird’s plan as temporary custodians of the children dragged out longer than expected. Then, almost a year later, on Wednesday, July 23, 1985, the jury found Tom guilty of first degree murder. Tom and his parents met in the jail at about 1:30 p.m. that afternoon. Virginia wrote:

       “Tom expressed his feelings saying, ‘We know the truth. We know what’s going on. We shouldn’t worry about him. We should keep ourselves healthy and be concerned primarily with the children and be assured that Sandy was not crying out from the grave for justice.’” [Prosecutor Rod Symmonds had used this phrase about Sandy while trying to dramatize his closing argument.]

       On Thursday, July 24, Tom phoned the children. He told them, as recorded by Virginia, “Kids, some people think I killed mommy but we know different don’t we? Now we have to go to another judge and tell him the story so he will allow daddy to come out of jail. But it will take a little longer than we thought.”

      The children returned to Hardy without their father.

      On August 6, Ralph and Mark Bird left Hardy and drove back to Emporia to attend Tom’s sentencing the next afternoon. Joe and Lynn Stringer, Sandy’s brother and sister-in-law, picked up the children in Hardy from the Birds at about 6 p.m. Mama Jane asked to have them until school started..

      The next day, August 7, the court sentenced Tom Bird to life in prison.

      On August 12, Ralph and Virginia heard that Mama Jane was going to attempt to terminate their custodial rights for the children. “Fiduciary or monetary interests she claims are in conflict with us because we are acting for Tom and not for the children,” Virginia wrote.

      The next day, one week after Tom’s sentence, Virginia wrote, “…in the afternoon we are served a summons from Jane citing us as unfit to care for the children and incapable of taking care of their affairs.”

      Jane and her attorneys, who eventually numbered four, claimed that Ralph and Virginia were too old to provide the long-term stability needed by young children. Virginia did eventually succumb to a serious heart problem in 1997, 12 years after the custody hearings were completed, when Aaron, the youngest of the children, reached age 16. Ralph survived her and moved to their retirement home in Cherokee Village, Arkansas.

      The Birds had strong negative opinions about Mama Jane’s interference and influence in Tom’s convictions, yet if they spoke openly about this, especially to the children, it would jeopardize their custodial rights. In a candid, private moment, Virginia wrote about this:

       “We call Mr. Hecht [Tom’s attorney in the murder trial] and he gives us some advice as to a letter which should be sent to J. Grismer as to malicious actions and that she couldn’t have the children’s welfare in mind to change them now. Especially forbidding them to see their father constitutes malicious action and we may have to expose her dirty laundry and ask that she pay all lawyers fees, etc. in this action.”

       There appears no public record that the Birds exposed any of Grismer’s dirty laundry despite the strong-arm tactics she used to obtain custody of the children.

      On September 23, 1985, guards once again transported Tom to Geary County for the inquisition in the murder of Marty Anderson. With no attorney present to represent him, he pled the Fifth Amendment.  After a day’s search, Al Bandy agreed to represent Tom, and advised him to continue to plead the Fifth Amendment. During the hearing, Opat quoted from a document that he identified as Lorna’s statement and it contained strong accusations against Tom, but neither he nor Bandy had a copy. Bandy tried unsuccessfully to obtain a copy.

      The last weekend of September, Joe Stringer picked up the Bird children to be taken to Little Rock to spend their weekend with Mama Jane. They returned on Sunday. Virginia wrote: 

      “They had a late breakfast in L.R. [Little Rock] and so they didn’t eat any lunch. Andrea said they stayed at Joe’s house Friday night because Jane and Dr. Grismer were going out. Andrea also said that when they stay at Joe’s the 2 boys sleep on the floor and she is in the bed but all in the same room. They went over to Grismers at about noon on Saturday and stayed there Sat. night attending Mass on Sat. evening at the Catholic Church.” 

      On October 3, Don Brown, one of the Birds’ attorney in the custody case, called to tell them  that Joe and Lynn Stringer had filed papers with the court to ask for permanent custody of the children. “It seems Joe has sued for 3 things: custody, intervention, and immediate custody of the children,” Virginia wrote.

      In preparation for the custody hearings, the Birds submitted the children to psychological evaluations by Dr. Steve Pike, a Sharp County psychologist. They also submitted to a home evaluation from a Sharp County social worker who was called on to decide whether the physical surroundings of the Bird’s home would serve the children’s best interest. 

Sharp County “justice” 

      The Sharp County courthouse sits on a hill just south of a stockyard. When a north wind blows across the city, odors from the stockyard envelop the courthouse, the kind of odors that Ralph and Virginia smelled when the custody case was settled weeks later.

      On October 8, Virginia wrote: 

      “Grismers and Joe Stringer call tonight. Joe and Jane tell us they plan to come up on Friday and get school assignments for the children and want to have them in L.R. for the whole week for house evaluation at Joe’s and Jane’s and then they tell us they plan an evaluation of the children in L.R. by Dr. Peters at the end of the week. We object to the children being out of school the whole week and also object to the evaluation because we have already had one in Sharp County. We tell Grismers we will check with our lawyer about it before we make any commitments.” 

      In the ensuing discussions, Mr. Jarboe, their attorney from Walnut Ridge, asked the court to rule against a second psychological evaluation, relying on Dr. Pike for that advice. The court ruled against the Birds and ordered that the children submit to Dr. Peters of Little Rock.

      The Birds informed school officials that Andrea and Paul would miss a week of school and Virginia went to collect their assignments. But on Friday, Joe Stringer called saying that the house evaluation had been postponed. They cancelled the plans.

      On the following Monday, Virginia received a call from Mr. Jarboe. He told them that Joe Stringer would be up the next afternoon to pick up the children because the house evaluation would be conducted on Wednesday, with psychiatric evaluations to follow on Thursday and Friday. Virginia trudged back to school to get assignment details from the teachers to prepare the children to leave for Little Rock.

      On Tuesday morning, Andrea became ill at school. During the custody battle, she had developed asthmatic symptoms that often flared anytime she had to go to Little Rock. The Birds picked her up from school. Then at 2 p.m., the school called again to say that Paul felt ill. They went and picked him up.

      At 2:45 p.m., Mama Jane and a friend arrived at the Birds to get the children. Virginia asked if she would return the children on Saturday as the children’s choir would be singing in the Sunday service, and they had practiced a long time for this. Jane said “no.”

      Joe and Lynn drove the children back to Hardy on Sunday afternoon. Virginia wrote, “…and immediately Aaron tells us he was told to refer to them as Mommy and Daddy, which is a shock to us.” They placed an angry and hurried phone call to their attorney. Ironically, among the pieces of mail awaiting the children in Hardy that day were letters from Tom, their real dad.

      Virginia’s journal is awash with references to phone calls from Tom to the children, often timed to some special event such as birthdays and holidays. He took great care to maintain contact with them. 

First appeal denial  

      On October 25, 1985, Mark called to inform Ralph and Virginia that Tom’s appeal in the criminal solicitation case had been denied. “We are reeling once again from the body blow, but we try to maintain some composure,” Virginia wrote.

      On Friday, November 1, Virginia detailed: 

      “We have received word that a suggested date for the [custody] hearing was sent to our lawyer Jarboe for December 23 and 24. Can you imagine a Christmas Eve court appearance for a pastor of a church? How inconsiderate can people be? Tom says of this that he suspects collusion on Jane’s part with the Judge and if we cannot get the date changed he strongly suggests that Jane has somehow gotten to the judge and we are apprehensive that the decision may already be made.” 

      On November 11, Virginia and Ralph visited Tom in prison. The children went in first with Virginia while Ralph waited. While Ralph visited with Tom, Virginia took the children to McDonald’s. Virginia wrote about this particular visit. 

      “He [Tom] is very concerned about the upcoming custody suit and very hurt inside because it seems the laws treat him as an outsider in regard to his own children and limit his input as to his preference of where they should be. He has done everything he can to allow guardianship for us because he knows we have the children’s best interest at heart. He and Sandy both chose to use our parental skills often when she was alive and we know she would be horrified if she knew what her mother was doing to these children now.” 

      To counter this age issue the Birds adopted a new strategy. They asked Tom’s sister Gloria and her husband Felix Cates if they would file a counter claim for custody of the children. The Cates’ agreed and testified at the hearings that they were more than willing to assume custody should something happen to the elder Birds.

      The Bird’s even appealed to Randall Stringer, Sandy’s father, who Jane divorced years earlier. Virginia wrote: 

      “I talked to Barbara Stringer today about she and Randall being witnesses. She asks us to please keep them out of things if we can because Randall is afraid he would isolate himself from his sons. Rumors are rampant. We find that we hear Joe is out of town a lot with his job— that Lynn is Jewish, non-practicing—but does not have much interest in church. Also Joe and Lynn have asked Randall for money to pay lawyer’s fees in their case against us and Randall refused….”

      “In the depositions we learn of Lynn and Joe’s intentions of bringing up the children at Unitarian-Universalist church…. They also call our hopes for Tom’s exoneration ‘perpetuating a myth.’” 

      On December 19, a snowy icy day in Hardy, the children came home from school early due to the dangerous road conditions. They were scheduled to leave for Little Rock to be with the Stringers and Mama Jane that day. Virginia wrote:

      “Jane calls from Batesville and I tell her what road conditions are. She calls back later and says she is at lawyer Thompson’s office and that the Sharp County Sheriff will pick up the kids and bring them to Core City to meet her there. So we load up suitcases and all their gear in Officer Button’s car.” [To satisfy Jane’s demands, a county sheriff took the children to her, placing their lives in danger.] 

      The court agreed with the Birds’ request to change the custody hearing to December 30. On the 29^th, Dr. Pike, who had come from his new home in Alabama to testify about his observations of the children, stopped by the Bird’s home to see them. Virginia wrote: 

      “This afternoon Dr. Steve Pike comes over to check on our family. He has read the report of Dr. Peters and expects to see Paul a basket case. As it turns out Paul greets him at the door and he comes in to see our whole family and the closeness we have.” 

Hearing held surprises 

      The hearing began on Monday with Virginia Bird as the first witness. She answered questions for 2½ hours. She recorded that at one point during cross-examination by Jane’s attorney, Tom Thompson, he “threw the booklet of Lorna Anderson’s words about the death of her husband down on the witness stand in front of me and said, ‘If you are to be custodian of these children you should read this!’”

      Quickly Bird’s attorney objected and the judge sustained their objection. But the presence of the “booklet” was quite curious. Al Bandy, Tom’s Kansas attorney, had tried in vain to get a copy of that “booklet”—the transcription of Lorna’s August 30, 1985, statement. Yet here, hundreds of miles away, Mama Jane’s attorney held up a copy in family court. This confirmed the Birds’ worst fears. Mama Jane had built such a close relationship with Tom’s accusers that she garnered special favors from them, favors that stanched their son’s rights. Withholding Lorna’s statement from Tom bordered on a denial of his constitutional right to confront his accusers; giving Lorna’s statement to Jane’s attorney was just plain wrong.

      Bill Bristow, another one of Mama Jane’s attorneys, questioned both of the Birds about their finances. He tried to link loan payments made by Ralph to pay Tom Bird’s legal costs to the children’s Social Security dollars. He accused Virginia of trying to perpetuate a myth “with the children that when we instill hope for them that their dad may one day be out of jail we are doing them a disservice.”

      Ralph Bird took the stand and faced questions about his age and finances. Jane’s attorneys accused Ralph of telling the children that Mama Jane and Papa Doc had lied during the court proceedings against their father. Ralph explained that he went to painful extremes to never accuse them in front of the children. He never used the word “lie” or any form of it, and he never accused Mama Jane of fanning the flames that caused Tom to be convicted.

      Ralph did tell the children that Mama Jane was mistaken in her testimony about the house Tom had pointed out along the road leading to the Rocky Ford Bridge. He explained that Papa Doc was mistaken in what he had said about the exchange between him and Tom as they rummaged around the riverbank beneath the bridge.

      The children asked the Birds all kinds of tough questions about their dad, the Grismers, the legal system and such. This natural curiosity of children who had lost both parents created a severe difficulty for them, just as it would for Mama Jane if she were asked the same questions.

      When asked whether he ever accused Jane of influencing events in Emporia that eventually led to Tom’s incarceration, Ralph said, “no, I just agreed with Jane herself when she took credit in the newspapers for pushing for Tom’s conviction.” If Jane told reporters she deserved credit for Tom’s convictions, how were the Birds to answer when the children asked about it? No matter how he answered the kids, he would either have to lie to the children or offend Jane.

      Jane’s attorney asked Ralph about his attitude toward the legal system? Would Tom’s incarceration cause them to criticize the legal process? Ralph explained that he had never lost faith in the legal system nor had they taught the children otherwise. What he had explained as carefully as possible was his opinion that certain individuals who worked in the legal system had acted improperly in Tom’s case.

      They pointed out, as Virginia wrote, rather than criticizing the system “...as a fact we are using the appeal system as offered.” What Mama Jane protested was the Bird’s stubborn insistence that the court had erred in finding their son guilty.

      To the Birds, as people committed to faith, telling the children the truth was paramount. Now they were forced to tell the truth in terms the children could understand without any prejudice, and it was a difficult task. Ralph Bird, long time pastor, was forced to agree under oath that should the Birds retain custody they would submit to court-approved experts to help them deal with the difficult issue of knowing how to tell the truth.

      Virginia wrote that most of the witnesses who appeared in support of the Stringers and Grismers were people for whom Jane or Joe had acted as a real estate agent. At one point in her journal Virginia asked indignantly whether or not Jane had any real friends or just clients?

      In contrast, those who testified in support of the Birds included many church friends, babysitters, teachers from school, a Brownie’s leader and professional experts, like Dr. Pike and the county service workers.

      Dr. Pike testified that he had seen the children nine or ten times over 18 months and felt he knew them well. It would be best for them to stay where they were, he said.

      Dr. Peters, the other psychiatrist who had evaluated the children, testified by videotape. Virginia wrote:

      “He testified that he had evaluated the 3 children, that he only consented to do this at the perseverance of Dr. Grismer. He saw a lot of stress in Paul and Andrea but could not say what should actually be told the children to soften the blow of true facts. A bit vague about treatment. Said Paul was almost strained to the limit yet advised moving to L.R. because a youthful couple (he thought) would be better.”  

If youth became the criteria, the Birds preferred Tom’s sister Gloria to Joe or Lynn Stringer.

      The pastor of the Presbyterian Church Jane attended testified for her. Virginia was not impressed, writing “He said only that she was a regular attender but could not come up with any activities within the church that she is connected with.”

      Virginia wrote about another of the Stringer’s witnesses, an attorney from Little Rock, who knew Lynn before Joe. “He is divorced. He thinks they [the Stringers] would be good parents because they are humane with animals. (Oh God!!)”

      During this first day of the hearing, Muriel Jacobs, a church member and close friend of Virginia’s, related the following to her: 

      “This morning, before the hearing began, the judge came in the front door of the courthouse (before he was robed) and went to the drinking fountain. Jane Grismer approached and said coyly, ‘Good morning judge.’ How did she know who he was if she hadn’t previously met with him before?” 

      On day two, Virginia wrote about a most dramatic turn in the trial. 

            “Next witness – Chief Justice Supreme Court, Little Rock, Jack Holt.”

      “Mr. Holt testified that as a research clerk in his office he had observed Lynn Stringer and thought she would be a good mother. He had seen the 3 children disciplined in the office – he had observed Lynn with his 2 teenagers and thought she was congenial with children.

      “[At this time I, V. Bird, had very definite feelings that this political figure was putting a lot of pressure on the court, the Judge Hickman, our lawyers and anyone else in the courthouse because his appearance was HEAVY in favor of Stringers. I also thought that it was rather irresponsible of him to say Lynn had parenting skills when he knew of none specifically.] (The brackets are in the original V. Bird journal.)

      “He also said in an ‘off the cuff’ way that Stringer’s lawyer, Bill Bristow, was wrong in obtaining the 3^rd trial for James Dean Walker, a noted case in all the L.R. papers. Evidently Mr. Bristow was instrumental in helping Mr. Walker and Judge Holt made it clear that he did not agree with that. Whatever that had to do with our custody hearing I do not know.

      “When Judge Holt left the stand a recess was called because everyone in the courtroom wanted to shake his hand and a bit of circus atmosphere prevailed.

      “I AM AT THIS TIME APPREHENSIVE ABOUT OUR CASE.” 

      Virginia further reported that Justice Holt had arrived at the courthouse that day via a private plane from Little Rock, and then was driven in a “flagged” police car to the courthouse. She again wrote, “THIS IS HEAVY.”

      The Stringers had a star witness in Justice Holt.

      Once out of court, the Bird’s asked why Judge Hickman had allowed Justice Holt to address attorney Bristow about an unrelated matter from the witness stand? They saw that judges and attorneys are reluctant to confront Supreme Court Justices who, by extension, carry a lot of weight in the future success of those same judges and attorneys. The Birds justifiably feared Holt’s political influence would affect the outcome of the hearing.

      Lynn Stringer testified after Holt. She explained that because of her age, she and Joe had intervened in the custody issue. She loved to canoe, hike, bicycle and cross-country ski, explaining that this showed her passion for sports (all of the Birds enjoyed sports). Virginia wrote, “But how much of the above can the 3 children do with them? Only one rides a bicycle?”

      Then Virginia touched a tender nerve: 

      “She [Lynn] plans to enroll them in a private school because the L.R. public school they would attend is 80% black and she thought this would be a culture shock for the children. This [private] school would be financed by social security money of the children.” 

      Lynn agreed to accept the long distance calls Tom would make to talk with his children. Furthermore, if the Birds were unable to take the children to see their dad, she and Joe would do so, she asserted.

      Virginia wrote: 

            “She [Lynn] also admitted that at one time she said she wished Tom Bird were dead.

      “She, being Jewish, stated that she thought she was making a compromise on religion by taking the children to the Unitarian Church. She does not believe in the Deity of Christ, nor the existence of sin, nor the need for a girl to remain a virgin before marriage. She only thought mistakes could be made by adulterous behavior and would raise Andrea to think this way. Oh God!!” 

      Joe Stringer was next. He admitted that he worked for Justice Holt’s father, perhaps in a way to indicate that Holt had personal knowledge of him as well. Virginia’s wrote: 

      “When asked about children’s future he testified that he had talked with Sheriff Deppish and D.A. Opat of Geary County, Kansas and quoted them as saying Tom would probably be charged with the murder of Marty Anderson in Jan. of 1986 and this would mean that the children would be exposed to another trial and that the Birds couldn’t handle this and the result would be a long incarceration for Tom and thus the children would be better off with Lynn and him.” 

      [In Kansas, Deppish refused to tell anyone who was to be charged in Marty’s murder. He felt free to tell Mama Jane and her son, far away in Arkansas, though. Was he the person who gave Lorna’s statement to Mama Jane for use against the Birds in the custody hearing?]

      In Joe Stringer’s mind, as well as that of Geary County officials, Tom was guilty of murdering Marty and now had the burden of proving his innocence—a unique view of American criminal law. In this instant matter at least, Stringer felt it was a material issue that Tom might be found guilty at some future date. (How did he feel when Tom was found not guilty in 1990?)

      Yet, despite Tom’s civil rights as an American citizen, Grismer’s attorney Thompson, according to Virginia, “During Joe’s testimony … referred to Tom Bird as a murderer of 2” and notes this was “quoted by Judge.”

      Mama Jane testified next. Jane explained that she tired easily when caring for the children. She thought younger parents made more sense. She told how all four of her children had college degrees, proving she was a good mother. Virginia wrote: 

      “She said she had offered her maid to Sandy when she had her children and Tom would not let a black woman in his house [an inaccurate statement. Tom had several black members in his West Memphis Church and he is and always will be pro-black people] (brackets in the original).

      “It was pointed out that she and Jerry never stayed overnight in W. Memphis – always returned to L.R. after a few hours stay.

      “Inaccuracies occurred again when she stated she never gave an interview to anyone [she was talking daily during the 2 trials in Emporia to journalists] (brackets in original).

      “…she first suspected Tom after Martin Anderson’s death. She was inaccurate about visitations during the trial saying Ralph refused to let them see the children when she had visits 4 times and we only refused overnight and weekend visitation during the trial as per letter agreed upon by [Jane’s attorney] Lassiter and [our attorney] Don Brown.” 

      Jane explained that in her opinion, the extended family is deeply involved in child rearing, what Virginia labeled as “custody by committee.” Jane said that is how Sandy was raised. Sandy’s parenting committee apparently included Jane when she stayed home, her grandmother, great aunt and Aunt Nancy.

      Virginia concluded her notes on Mama Jane with this: 

      “Jane makes statement near the end of her testimony at custody hearing, ‘I can do anything!!’  Oh God do something about this woman who believes the end justifies the means by which one acts, no matter who gets hurt. NOW IT WILL BE THE CHILDREN WHO ARE HURT.” 

      On January 2, 1986, Virginia drove the children to school. Upon her return she found Ralph talking on the telephone.  

      “When I return Ralph is on the phone with attorney Jarboe. He tells us we have lost the custody case and the children will go to live with Joe and Lynn Stringer.

      “Oh my, oh my. It is so hard to believe that a judge would actually think we are too old to take care of the youngsters….Ralph and I both cry together. What shall we do?

      “Ralph calls Chaplain Johansen at the KSP to bring the news to Tom there before it is spread up there in Kansas on TV or newspaper.

      “Tom calls us from Lansing and we all talk together and moan together and then comfort one another with the words of our Lord. ‘He will turn all things evil into good to them that love God.’

      “In the afternoon we talk to Mark [Bird]. He is angry and bitter….” 

      Then there were the children to tell, because the court ordered them moved to the Stringers on the following Saturday.  

      “When the 2 children came home from school they are excited about their report cards which show all A’s for both. Then we have to tell them the decision and there are many tears – especially Andrea. She says over and over again, ‘I don’t want to live in L.R.’ That night Andrea has trouble sleeping and so she ends up in our bed most of the night.” 

      On Saturday, the Stringers were due to arrive at 11 a.m. Virginia wrote about the last hours and minutes with the children. 

      “Andrea wants to take her Bible and says she doesn’t want to be a Unitarian. She cries during the day at times and says ‘It’s a nightmare come true.’ She also wants to know how old she will be when she can decide where to live.”

      “She blames a lot of it on the judge. Ralph tries to explain it is our fault as we are old, but she brushes that off saying, ‘You don’t act old and grandma is the only one that plays Barbies with me.’

      “Paul wants Aaron to play basketball in the hall saying, ‘Aaron we won’t be doing this for a long time.’ They play for a while.

      “Tom calls and talks to all 3 children. It is a good, long talk and they enjoy the phone conversation.” 

      (Years later, when Andrea was 15, Mama Jane called Terry Bird at her home in Kansas City – the former Terry Smith who had married Tom in 1988 – to announce that Andrea would be moving in with Terry in three days. She gave no reason, just declared it and Andrea moved in with Terry in Kansas City.)

      Around 11:30 a.m., the children were picked up.

      One of the fond memories of those months caring for the children referred to by the Birds and many of their church members was how each Sunday morning, following the service, all three of the little Birds joined their grandpa Ralph at the back of the church, greeting people and shaking hands as the worshippers left the building. Virginia’s journal from Sunday, January 5, 1986, summed up this latest of their personal tragedies.  

      “After service I stand with Ralph as the children had done, and shake hands with all the parishioners. There were quite a few tears then.” 

      The church members saw no children. They saw no joy.

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