Birds Renew their Marital Vows Unbridled Joy Filled the Church
By Dave Racer
On August 7, 2004, Pastor Ken Kothe and Dave Racer, who had traveled to Kansas City, attended a ceremony of renewing of the vows of marriage between Tom and Terry Bird. Pastor Kothe, who had been a seminary classmate of Tom’s, and who had fought for his freedom for 20 years, found absolute joy in being with the Birds, and watching Tom enjoy his life of freedom. Dave Racer, who wrote the book Caged Bird, about Tom’s life following the death of Sandy Bird, spent most of the time just observing the passion of joy expressed by the nearly 200 people who witnessed the ceremony. This is Dave’s telling of what he observed.
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For 16 years, Tom and Terry Bird’s marriage had to be celebrated on weekends in a prison visiting room shared with 50 other inmates and their families, or by telephone calls from inside Lansing Correctional Facility. Then, on June 14, 2004, Tom Bird walked out of that prison on parole, and into the arms of his wife. That day marked the first time since their August 4, 1988 wedding that they could go home together.
Following their 1988 wedding, held in the maximum-security prison’s visitation room, Tom had to go back to his cell as Terry went alone to the wedding reception without him (the entire story of the 1988 wedding can be read here. Some 250 people had attended the 1988 wedding reception at Grace Lutheran in Kansas City, but without Tom’s presence, their joy was subdued.
Then came Saturday, August 7, 2004 as nearly 200 people gathered at Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Raymore, Missouri, to witness, “The Marriage Celebration of Terry Lyn Bird and Thomas Paul Bird.” The Birds had invited them all to witness the renewal of their marriage vows.
Tom and Terry could barely contain their joy as they walked down the aisle to stand in front of an audience that nearly filled the sanctuary. Pastor David Reimnitz waited as they came toward the altar, his own broad smile reflecting the joy he saw in the faces of each person in the room.
Felix Cates, Tom’s brother-in-law, read the text from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
This verse came alive in the hearts of those in attendance as they reflected on Tom’s nearly 20 years in prison. In late September, 1983, Terry had become his friend, just 2 ˝ months after Sandy Bird’s death. She had learned during that how to listen to Tom’s hurting heart and see deep into his soul, and then offer comfort, counsel and love to him. She witnessed Tom’s dismay as police and prosecutors accused and tried him for the unimaginable – that he had taken Sandy’s life. They grew closer after a Lyon County jury had found him guilty of crimes he had not committed. Then she stood beside him as Judge Gary Rulon sentenced Tom to life in prison.
The Bird family urged Tom and Terry to marry in 1988, believing that his release was imminent. But their hope of soon living together was met with frustration, futility and failure as the Kansas appeals courts continually turned Tom away.
Their dedication to each other and to the Bird children was sorely tested during this time of separation. Yet they clung to each other and to their faith in Jesus Christ so that they grew closer as their lives became even more entwined. “We probably talk more than most married couples,” Tom explained as he reflected on the average 12 hours they spent together in the prison visiting room each weekend. Talk, hope and prayer had to make up for a lack of intimacy and a productive life outside of prison.
On August 7, 2004 though, their special day had finally arrived.
The anticipation of this special event showed during Friday afternoon and evening. Terry Bird directed a small army of volunteers who decorated the church and fellowship hall. Late in the afternoon, Tom’s siblings walked in – Mark Bird and Gloria Cates with her husband Felix had arrived from Arkansas. That moment was the first time the three of them had been together outside the walls of prison since Christmas, 1983. “I haven’t felt this happy since that Christmas,” Mark Bird said, “except maybe when the jury acquitted Tom in 1990.” Mark, who has a strong and beautiful bass voice, sang “The Lord’s Prayer” at the conclusion of the ceremony, but without fighting back tears of joy.
On Saturday, before the ceremony, the joy of reunion replayed each time a family member or former church member entered the church. Tom waited for each one. His eyes would lock on to a recognizable face, and then they would light up in joy, followed by a hug. Tom has always been a hugger, and on this day, there were scores of hugs shared. The guests came from as far away as Arkansas, Texas, Colorado, Utah, Nebraska and Minnesota.
Among the guests were Paula Meyer and Dorothy Groteleuschen, who had driven from Arcadia, Colorado. The two retired teachers live together, and had for many years given prayer support and written to Tom, as well as provide support for his legal fund. They gave generously to the production of Caged Bird, and to In the Shadow of Joseph. Amazingly, that day was the first time the two ladies had actually met Tom Bird. And they could not have been happier.
Nearly a dozen members of Faith Lutheran Church in Emporia joined the festivities. Don Froelich, who had been one of the lay ministers at Faith during Tom’s travails there, could not contain his smile, and it spoke for each person in their delegation.
As happy as were the guests, no one’s joy compared to Terry Bird’s. As Tom recited his vows to her, her entire face lit up as sunlight shining on a cloudless day. Tears welled up as she listened to Tom recite his pledge of love and support, and continued as she repeated her vows to him. The audience, too, had their spirits lifted as they watched these two who had endured so much finally be able to share their joy in the presence of loved ones.
Pastor Reimnitz took out a length of cord of three strands and explained how Tom and Terry’s lives had been woven with that of Jesus Christ. Then he handed the cord to Tom and told him to put it in his pocket as a way of remembering that it was Jesus’ love and His strength that had preserved and would continue to preserve their love and devotion to each other.
A reception in the fellowship hall immediately followed the ceremony. Even the overflow and variety of foods spoke of the boundless joy evident at the celebration. And sitting on a table at the head of the room was a fountain of sweet, warm chocolate that fell like a waterfall, and into which guests could dip fruit, pretzels, cookies and marshmallows. The sweetness of that treat could not even rival the sweetness of the event.
Then the disc jockey invited Tom and Terry to enjoy their first wedding dance together. This dance was followed by many more. When Tom Bird joined a gaggle of dancers to do the Macarena, it may have epitomized just how great the night was, as he struggled to coordinate all the movements, smiling and laughing and thoroughly enjoying himself. It is certain he had not had a moment of joy like that in all his prison days.
In a quiet moment, a person whispered to Tom Bird, “Liberty is far too much underrated.”
“That is so very true,” Tom said, reflecting on his joy since being released. He had come home to a loving wife, a good job, friends and family who love him, and a Savior who preserved him.